i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
