yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
