Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
