Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
My bed smells like the plague
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
