they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
