Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Randomize
