My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I just blew my weed a kiss
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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