while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
