it was like eating out sand paper
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
