look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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