Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
