It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
And then my night got REAL pukey
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
