woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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