My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
