I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
