so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
