On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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