i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
