Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Randomize
