it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
