Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
