Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
