when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
