singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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