hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
