Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
