Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
