Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You were trust falling into bushes
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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