if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
