your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
