no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
