dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
