Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
