im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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