Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
