is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
