Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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