If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
