my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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