Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
