You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
We're too hungover to prance.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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