he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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