I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
