Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
