My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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