you have to choose: penises or morals?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
How does one acquire holy water?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
