This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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