Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
