hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize