dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize
